Here We Go

Oh my god so rindu dengan blog ni. Seriously. All shit and tahi yang memalukan diri sendiri ada dalam ni dari zaman spelling macam jetjet rempit je. LOLOLOL. Every human evolving. Me too. So I don't fking malu pun from my mistakes. I live my life whole-heartedly. We learn from each and every mistake. Now dah post dekat tumblr je lagi senang. michinagassi.tumblr.com  . Semua tempat nak luahkan takpuas hati ke sedih ke happy semua kat situ.

Long long story.

get back to this old full of memories blog. sangat sangat rindu.
baru changed my age from 17 to 20. time flies so fast.
from MJSC MZMS to MULTIMEDIA UNIVERSITY.
i didn't found my own coding for the description under tabs' button.
sangat tak matured. hm
maybe no people will see this blog again. nobody interested in blog lagi i think.
people now busy scrolling their twitter's timeline or facebook or instagram.
takda masa for scrolling something boring lama lama.

i'm still blogging sometimes in tumblr or my private love story blog or writing my diary.
i want it to be private because i'm not confident with my life. many shits happened.
and i don't want my blog to be the companion of my tears lagi and me, writing an emotional diary about my feelings. i better write it in diary. so i can burn it dramatically later.

오랜만이야.

Haishh. My life sekarang makin kucar kacir. Terabur sini sana. Tak teratur. Tak tersusun. Bila ade free time je menghadap lappy then cari movie nak tengok. macam tu ajelah. tengok cite korea. cite korea. itu jelah. sekarang mood tak berapa nak elok. tiba tiba sedih. entah. sampai taktahu kenape sedih. tapi sedih sangat hati ni rasa. kenapa ek. pelik lah. dah lama tak macam ni.

Alamanda-ing

My day starts.

Bangun bangun and saya dapat bbm from my lovely sayangg.

He said nak ikut dia pegy kajang tak?

Hmm. Macam mane plan saya dgn housemate nak pegy Alamanda ek.

Then saya decide utk ikut dia kejap.

Kitorang balik rumah dia dulu.

Then gerak to OTWC Bangi for lunch.

Then pegy lah Kajang tu.

Then settle semua.

Mama dia hantar saya ke Alamanda.

Avengers ticket full.

Tak dapat tengok :(

Bersama rakan rakan lelaki 4 orang, kami pegy arcade then pegy karokss.

Hee. 10 orang. Ramai lah jugak. Sempit bilik tu jadiknyaa.

Fun lah. Then balik rumah selepas beli dinner. That's all

Yang penting, I'm having fun with you even for a while, sayang. Hee :D

What a girl wants!

I'm not pretty. I'm not beautiful as others.

But all I have is a heart to take care of.

Saya tak mintak kereta BMW sebijik.

Saya tak mintak diamond rings utk bukti cinta.

Saya tak mintak awak jadi slave semata mata utk tunjuk pengorbanan.

Saya tak mintak awak utk dengar semua kata-kata saya.

Saya tak mintak orang se handsome Lee Min Ho.

Saya tak mintak ape ape pun material utk bukti cinta.

Saya tak mintak awak jadi sweet macam dalam movies pun.

Semua perempuan inginkan hubungan yang macam dalam movies.

Sweet je.

But saya tak kesah kalau saya tak dapat.

Siapa je saya ni untuk dilayan macam puteri.

What a girl wants is to have a guy that could stole their heart and make them feel special !

Saya cuma nak hati awak je.

Saya cuma nak awak faham hati saya je.

Saya cuma nak rasa cinta yang sebenar.

Saya nak cinta dan sayang tu je.

Saya tak mintak lebih pun.

What I want is just your heart.

Please understand me.

'I LOVE YOU' is just a word.

It will not give any meaning kalau orang tu sebut tanpa perasaan cinta.

Word is only word.

It won't change a feelings.

Am I asking too much?

I guess it's not cost any money to give me all your love.

Is it a girl is not enough for a guy?

Is it must be another person in a relationship?

Why there's no such things like a fairytale?

My heart says that you love me.

I've tried to think positive.

Bila ada something yang saya rasa mampu rosakkan hubungan kita,

I'd tried my best to think positive and tell myself that you're in love with me.

Bukan yang macam saya fikirkan.

It's hurt.

Seriously hurt.

Bila saya dah dapat bukti depan mata, lagilah saya tak mampu nak tahan.

Saya tetap akan buat tak tahu.

And when I have free time to think about our relationship,

I'll cry and cry and cry.

I can't stand to be like this.

The very first time when we're in love,

I keep in my mind that I must do my best in this relationship.

I don't want it to be ruin just like before.

I'd stopped texting other guys just to make you happy.

I'm afraid that nanti ada penghalang and masalah dalam relationship ni.

I'd try my best untuk tak make any problem.

I'd left my VIF just to make sure that I'm focusing on you.

I'd always tell myself that I should take care of your heart.

Because I love you so much.

Hmm. Saya taknak saya sebabkan ada orang ketiga dalam relationship ni.

Tapi.

Rupanya saya yang selalu terluka.

It's not your fault.

Saya tak mintak kata kata maaf.

Saya cuma nak penyelesaian.

Sama ada hubungan ni terus berakhir

Atau masalah tu akan selesai.

Bukan dengan kata maaf dan perkara tu akan repeat again and again.

Yes. Saya dah biasa terluka.

Dah kebal dah.

Tapi saya tak mampu tahan dari sedih sebab saya sayang awak sangat kot.

Saya terlalu amik serious dalam hubungan kita kot.

Perempuan mana yang tak sedih kalau kekasih dan kawan biasa sama je panggilan tu.

Memanglah apa yang penting ialah perasaan.

Tapi manusia express their feelings by words.

Perempuan just nak rasa yang dia betul betul special! tu je.

Hm. I'm such a burden for you.

I don't know what to do next.

Each time I think about this problem, my tears could not stop falling macam sekarang ni.

Nadzirah!!! Kenapa kau lemah sangat ni!!!!

Saya tak normal

Haha. Dah lama tak post. Busy je kot. Takde masa nak tulis tulis ni.

Kalau ada masa nak typing kat lappy ni pun mesti typing Visual Basic tu haa. penuh dengan coding. Haishh.

Out of sudden saya rasa seperti saya tak normal dan saya ni macam manusia tak berguna.

Kenapa ye? tapi seriously rasa macam tu.

And ade moment when I'm realize that I dah changed a lot!

A lot in the way that I'm thinking and bla bla bla..

And in size too! Kenapa saya makin gemuk di Cyber ni ?

Kat Melaka dulu tak pun.

Padahal kat cyber ni jauh kot class.

Tapi kerja saya balik class asyik tido tido tido.

Yelaa! Saya penat. Awak tahu ape.

Haha. Tibe tibe emotional gilaa.

Weekend ni tanak kelua alamanda ke ape kot. Asyik jalan jalan je keje. Mane takhabes duit.

Dah lah my sweety hunny tak ade. Dia balik rumah. Lagilah :'(

Lepas tu sekarang saya da tak tahu nak bergaul socialize dekat social network.

Rasa macam awkward nak tegur orang ke ape.

Maybe dah berpisah beberapa bulan dan rasa macam 'errrrrrr. Ape ek?'

Haha. Even FaceBook and Twitter online 24/7 :)

Tapi saya macam invisible.invisible.

Ni yang nak nyanyi lagu skylar grey ni. invisible je kan.

Okaylah. Saya sudah membebel panjang.

Conclusion di sini ialah mudah-mudahan saya menjadi manusia yang sangat berguna di sisi masyarakat, bangsa, negara and yang penting, agama. Yeahh!

Malaysia Boleh. Grrr !!

Saya ponteng :(

Saya nak balik rumah haritu takde kawan tau.

Lepas tu, parents amik balik dan esok hari rabu baru pulang ke MMU di atas sebab sebab tertentu.

Ponteng kelas 2 hari. Rasa bersalah.

Sebab tertinggal pelajaran banyak kott.

Haishh !

Doa moga moga esok saya berjaya bersama project saya. :)